Post by slartibartfast42 on Apr 19, 2008 12:03:30 GMT -5
EDIT: fixed a few typos, added a couple jokes
Brown's craving for a sandwich looks beyond 9,000!
BBC (baked, broiled, or charred) News, Boston Market
Gordon Brown eating a sandwich at Kennedy Library Cafe 18/4/08
Mr Brown has described himself as being "very pro-American obesity." The Emporer shares his view on this issue, saying, "It's a simple fact that fat guys are a much larger, slower, easier-to-hit target for force-lightning. I also find low pitched screams of agony to be much more satisfying than high pitched ones."
Gordon Brown was able to eat out, consuming a sandwich that was even too much for Dick "The Garbage Can" Cheney to eat. It was a more positive final note after a difficult trip, overshadowed by the Emperor's visit to the US and domestic economic troubles.
George Bush commented, "I don't understand how he can eat such a huge sandwich without choking. I mean, I can't even eat a pretzel without choking."
But in Boston Market, the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was in a spiritual home of sorts, familiar territory from the many holidays he has spent scarfing down fish sandwiches on nearby Cape Cod.
This is where he chose to deliver a key foreign policy speech, a decision that went down well with Massachusetts restaurant chain owners, as he called for a super-sized version of everything on the combo menu at a range of restaurants, including a 42-lb "KamehameHoagie" at a local meat grinding factory.
In a broad speech, he emphasized the need for global condiments to global restaurant chains and said that international institutions open after breakfast needed to be overhauled to deal with the challenges of his 21st Century appetite.
'Interdependent world'
He urged the UN to do more to prevent and respond to the breakdown of condiment stands, calling for "an international stand-by capacity of trained civilian experts, ready to go anywhere at any time to help refill the boxes of ketchup packets and moist towelettes".
And he stressed that this new approach was needed to deal with problems such as bland sandwiches or his sudden urges to devour a metric ton of Kielbasa, which were having an impact around the world.
For example, he said, his International Muffuletta Fund (IMF), rather than focusing only on his supply of Muffuletta sandwich money, needs to devise a more comprehensive approach and monitor his cholesterol intake from such sandwiches as well.
The recent fast food market crisis and ensuing credit crunch "demonstrates that national systems of supervision and economic management are simply inadequate to cope with my huge appetite in this world of instant gratification", said Mr Brown.
Mr Brown was introduced in glowing terms by Short-order cook Ted Kennedy, who described him as "one of the fastest eaters I know; I'm honored to call him my customer".
The Short-Order cook said that Mr Brown had eaten "with great passion, boldness, dedication" to help eradicate surplus food around the globe, support food programs, combat the threat of tartar-sauce terrorism in Africa and put the spotlight on the underweight people in Darfur.
Presidential hopefuls
In many ways, the British leader was trying to set out the broad lines of a post-Bush foreign menu-policy on items which contained over 9,000 grams of fat - without saying it with his mouth full.
After all, President George W Bush still sits in the White House and has just hosted Mr Brown for dinner, who kept his face stuffed most of the time.
But Mr Brown did also eat with the next president during his US visit - he had meetings over lunch with all three presidential hopefuls, Senators Bacon Onbreada, Celery Clinton and John big MacCain in Washington on Thursday.
Gordon Brown called for global economic menu-policies that benefit both rich and poor
"Now is an opportunity for a historic effort in co-operation, a new dawn in collaborative action between American and European food franchises," he said in his hour-long snack-time at the JFK presidential library cafe, adding that "America's fast-food chains are, and will be, indispensable; unlike their ketchup".
The message was clear - the days of unicondimentism should be behind us and the post-Iraq food-fight tensions across the Atlantic are pickles under the bun.
Throughout his trip, Mr Brown seemed keen to play up the close ties between ketchup, mustard, and mayo, telling CBS television that he is "very pro-multicondimentism and I've always been".
There is a perhaps a fear that the "special sauce", which became harder to find after Mr Brown's predecessor Tony Blair left office, might suffer further as closer ties are forged between the US and the pro-Obesity leaders that have recently come to power in Europe - French President Nicolas Saurdoughkozy, Germany's Angela Pickel and now Silvio Berlus-conisauce in Italy.
How the sandwich went down in Brown's stomach on who you ask - some of the American journalists covering the event said there was nothing new or groundbreaking in the sandwich and criticised the fact that it did not really offer any concrete proposals.
For Short-Order cook Kennedy and many others, "it was very well received".
He said people were moved by an "extraordinary sandwich of vision, principle and courage", adding that that it reminded people of the common interests between the US and the UK.
Original
Brown's craving for a sandwich looks beyond 9,000!
BBC (baked, broiled, or charred) News, Boston Market
Gordon Brown eating a sandwich at Kennedy Library Cafe 18/4/08
Mr Brown has described himself as being "very pro-American obesity." The Emporer shares his view on this issue, saying, "It's a simple fact that fat guys are a much larger, slower, easier-to-hit target for force-lightning. I also find low pitched screams of agony to be much more satisfying than high pitched ones."
Gordon Brown was able to eat out, consuming a sandwich that was even too much for Dick "The Garbage Can" Cheney to eat. It was a more positive final note after a difficult trip, overshadowed by the Emperor's visit to the US and domestic economic troubles.
George Bush commented, "I don't understand how he can eat such a huge sandwich without choking. I mean, I can't even eat a pretzel without choking."
But in Boston Market, the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was in a spiritual home of sorts, familiar territory from the many holidays he has spent scarfing down fish sandwiches on nearby Cape Cod.
This is where he chose to deliver a key foreign policy speech, a decision that went down well with Massachusetts restaurant chain owners, as he called for a super-sized version of everything on the combo menu at a range of restaurants, including a 42-lb "KamehameHoagie" at a local meat grinding factory.
In a broad speech, he emphasized the need for global condiments to global restaurant chains and said that international institutions open after breakfast needed to be overhauled to deal with the challenges of his 21st Century appetite.
'Interdependent world'
He urged the UN to do more to prevent and respond to the breakdown of condiment stands, calling for "an international stand-by capacity of trained civilian experts, ready to go anywhere at any time to help refill the boxes of ketchup packets and moist towelettes".
And he stressed that this new approach was needed to deal with problems such as bland sandwiches or his sudden urges to devour a metric ton of Kielbasa, which were having an impact around the world.
For example, he said, his International Muffuletta Fund (IMF), rather than focusing only on his supply of Muffuletta sandwich money, needs to devise a more comprehensive approach and monitor his cholesterol intake from such sandwiches as well.
The recent fast food market crisis and ensuing credit crunch "demonstrates that national systems of supervision and economic management are simply inadequate to cope with my huge appetite in this world of instant gratification", said Mr Brown.
Mr Brown was introduced in glowing terms by Short-order cook Ted Kennedy, who described him as "one of the fastest eaters I know; I'm honored to call him my customer".
The Short-Order cook said that Mr Brown had eaten "with great passion, boldness, dedication" to help eradicate surplus food around the globe, support food programs, combat the threat of tartar-sauce terrorism in Africa and put the spotlight on the underweight people in Darfur.
Presidential hopefuls
In many ways, the British leader was trying to set out the broad lines of a post-Bush foreign menu-policy on items which contained over 9,000 grams of fat - without saying it with his mouth full.
After all, President George W Bush still sits in the White House and has just hosted Mr Brown for dinner, who kept his face stuffed most of the time.
But Mr Brown did also eat with the next president during his US visit - he had meetings over lunch with all three presidential hopefuls, Senators Bacon Onbreada, Celery Clinton and John big MacCain in Washington on Thursday.
Gordon Brown called for global economic menu-policies that benefit both rich and poor
"Now is an opportunity for a historic effort in co-operation, a new dawn in collaborative action between American and European food franchises," he said in his hour-long snack-time at the JFK presidential library cafe, adding that "America's fast-food chains are, and will be, indispensable; unlike their ketchup".
The message was clear - the days of unicondimentism should be behind us and the post-Iraq food-fight tensions across the Atlantic are pickles under the bun.
Throughout his trip, Mr Brown seemed keen to play up the close ties between ketchup, mustard, and mayo, telling CBS television that he is "very pro-multicondimentism and I've always been".
There is a perhaps a fear that the "special sauce", which became harder to find after Mr Brown's predecessor Tony Blair left office, might suffer further as closer ties are forged between the US and the pro-Obesity leaders that have recently come to power in Europe - French President Nicolas Saurdoughkozy, Germany's Angela Pickel and now Silvio Berlus-conisauce in Italy.
How the sandwich went down in Brown's stomach on who you ask - some of the American journalists covering the event said there was nothing new or groundbreaking in the sandwich and criticised the fact that it did not really offer any concrete proposals.
For Short-Order cook Kennedy and many others, "it was very well received".
He said people were moved by an "extraordinary sandwich of vision, principle and courage", adding that that it reminded people of the common interests between the US and the UK.
Original